In the state of Maine. one of my favorite places on this earth, I AM AWAKE. Yes very awake for the first time in a VERY long time – Acknowledging each and every day for what a tremendous gift it is to be alive!!! It’s hard not to appreciate life to the fullest in a state who’s slogan is “THE WAY LIFE SHOULD BE.” Because it truly is from top to bottom and from West to way up Down East. 🙂
Late last night when traveling North on Rt 1 back to the Popham Beach area which has always been one of my favorite haunts in the state where Down East is North and vice versa ;-), I got pulled over by the Bath police. It didn’t surprise me because all day long I felt troubled about many things and my mind was elsewhere. For some reason, I had been in deep contemplation of my personal relationships and my lack of grace over the years in letting people go out of my life. This has of late been in my face rather “hugely.” I’ve have lost some wonderful people over the years because of my ego, my very convicted personality, and yes, my strong opinions that have often turned into judgments of others, of their political views, their self and planetary awareness, and of course, religious views. More on that later… While the officer just issued me a warning for missing the stop sign, (I realized immediately that I had missed it and pulled right on over when I saw him) it occurred to me as I was struggling with falling asleep last night that I really did need to STOP in a BIG way!!! In my experience, there is a reason the Universe puts something so excruciatingly large in one’s face. And for me, even though I missed the sign, I definitely saw the bigger picture last night. It wasn’t until this morning that more was revealed to me. I awoke at 4:45 groggy after maybe 3 solid hours of sleep at best and went to hopefully catch some shots of the sunrise. It is a morning ritual while on the road. It is part of my work that some people think actually really isn’t work. [That is another blog entirely.] At summer solstice, one must rise at 3:45 in Maine to see the sky start to lighten before the earth turns to reveal the sun on the horizon. After a few photographs, I returned to the van because the mosquitos were eating me alive. I put lavender essential oil on my bites and then laid back down with Mona and slept until 8:45. That piece of deep rest was much needed. I woke refreshed and decided not to go far, but to go get a nice parking spot at the Popham Beach State Park for the day. Many locals don’t want to pay the fee, but I felt it was well worth the $8 to have a day where we could pop the top, clean and organize for the long haul coming up to Nova Scotia. And clean I did… on many levels.
Writing is indeed a cleansing of sorts for me. Today the words have just flowed off the fingertips. With the upcoming eclipse, I also decided that it was necessary to cleanse all my rocks, healing stones, crystals, neck pieces and myself as well. After all cleaning was said and done in the van and with my healing tools, I took myself, a few choice stones and crystals and did the ritualistic dunk in 64 degree Atlantic ocean water. Man, it was really cold, but it woke me up even further and I returned to Mona in the van (she doesn’t like the water) to heat up a cup of coffee dripped from earlier and meditate on what I was going to do in regards to letting of what no longer serves my highest good in this POWERFUL astrological time of tomorrow’s eclipse. The significance of tomorrow’s this “darkening” is multifaceted, but Spiritually, it is a time when the darkness of our soul is revealed clearly in essence to let it go and move further into the LIGHT. That is a sweetened condensed version of many philosophers and astrologers. READ THIS PIECE.
Since becoming sober and discovering all sorts of new parts of myself each day, the part that the Universe has made me über aware of recently is my personal relationships and how I am treated and of course, how I treat others. The Golden Rule comes to mind here. My mom was big about that one. “Do unto others as you wish to have done to you.” You reap what you sow… Karma… etc… So last night the BIG mirror popped up… And instead of going to sleep and shrugging the events of the day off, I made a few mental notes and ruminated on what I really wanted to change about myself and my life.
#1 Start to be an example of what I believe by action, not just words. I have been told that I am generally a good conversationalist, easy to talk to/with. When I travel, I meet all kinds of new people and often have long conversations. I do love to find out about people… about where they are from, what they do, believe about life, think about these intense changing times we are currently living in etc. Talk has always been a very large part of my personality and I am good at it. So my first commitment is to DO more, to BE more, to consciously walk my talk each and every day, to be present in a loving way for both my sweet doggy, my friends I encounter, new encounters AND for myself. One of the fortunes I have saved from a Chinese meal says: “Action is the proper fruit of knowledge.” Seems that anyone can talk a good talk. So, I will move forward challenging myself to walk my schtick as well. What is my SCHTICK exactly? As my soul brother Ricci Barnes says, “Peace and Love, Sue. Peace and Love… So, I am definitely going to make a concerted effort in each and every moment to walk it better. I sure am!
#2 Exit Facebook for a while, if not for good. I have many reasons for this decision, but the main one is that I feel Facebook doesn’t make me a better person. There is much I have learned being on it and I am SO grateful to have reconnected with so many wonderful folks. Since joining at it’s early launch stages in 2007, I have used Facebook for most of what everyone else does while occasionally battling over sensitive topics such as religion and politics. I have lost friends. I’ve unfriended and been unfriended. I’ve blocked and been blocked. I have raised my own blood pressure. A recent post taken personally by a long term friend, ignited a conflict that ended at 45 year friendship. Overall, I can look at the experience as neutral because I have gained some really great new friends. So it is a see-saw type deal. Before I take the initial haitus, I want to just express that the biggest reason for making this decision is to chip away at my ego self. My desire to live in my heart is overpowering right now and I don’t always stay in my heart on Facebook. So, a break of at least 30 continuous days is necessary I feel. If for nothing else, to break a habit that I feel is overall not very healthy. This may sound like a judgment, but I feel overall we have become a VERY self-absorbed society. Also, our attention spans have been reduced to basically 2-3 seconds and I have heard it likened to the amount of time it takes to read a Facebook post or a quick text. What an absurd concept. I don’t go anywhere any longer where people are not addicted to their devices. I see far less of it up here in Maine but it is still prevalent especially among younger folks. I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty specifics of what peevs me most about social media, but I will say that we have lost the art of going somewhere without our phones or needing to check email or Facebook or whatever every 15 minutes… So, what do I hope to achieve from a break? A deeper connection with myself and others I encounter in the 3D realm. I will remain on Instagram because it is part of what I am, a visual artist and I would like to encounter more folks who are like-minded and like visually skilled. So, to those reading this blog who are my friends on Facebook, if you want to stay connected to me, either follow me on *Instagram or send me an *email please so I have your address. *info below
#3 Let go of my judgments and soften the expression of my opinions. As I had written in my last brief blog, my life has involved many journeys, both internal and on multiple forms of transportation on a few different continents. Therefore, I feel that my experiences with many different cultures and peoples, have given me a breath of experience from which I have drawn my opinions, not hypotheses, but ACTUAL IN THE MOMENT EXPERIENCES. Still, who am I to even suggest to another what is the right or wrong way to do something or what to believe? No one… I can only share my experiences and let go. I feel like this is the place to make a formal apology to those I have judged or hurt through my words and actions in the past. I am fairly aware of who and how I have hurt and wish to make an end to it asap. My ego is going on a long vacation, if only for baby steps day by day. Large changes are not usually made overnight.
If I have managed to hold your attention this long, please know that I do enjoy talking on the phone. I enjoy emails. I enjoy brief texting. I mostly, I enjoy the lost art of letter writing and sending cards. Since I am on the road for possibly months to come, email and texting would be the best way to get a hold of me should you wish to do so. Please know that if you do wish still to know where I am or what is happening, I’ll be blogging here from time to time when I feel moved to do so. My email address is email@example.com and my Instagram is @lifeisajourneynotaguidedtour. No, I won’t be joining Twitter. I don’t think what I have to do or say is all that important to need to Tweet or Facebook any longer. I really want more good old face to face human uninterrupted contact.
I wish you all a good journey, new experiences, new enlightenment after the complete darkness in daylight we shall experience tomorrow. Please think about going inside to see what you can do to make the world a better place. Recycle, reuse, use natural cleaning products on your home, cars, and person, conserve water, conserve electricity, compost, use solar power, and most importantly, do something nice for a stranger every now and then. It’s a great feeling! Lets work together to make the planet a place where peace and love will prevail for centuries and hopefully millenniums to come. Namasté ~ Sue and Mona