PULL YOURSELF UP BY THE BOOTSTRAPS

Since 1998, the suicide rate has increased 25% in this country. Mental illness continues to plague our society and it continues to be gravely misunderstood and judged harshly. This week we lost 2 very successful folks who were in the spotlight, yet how many left us that will not make the headlines???

When my sister took her own life last September, I received a few texts from friends who commented on her mental health issues, insinuating that those were the precursor to her tragic act. My first reaction was to defend her, saying it was NOT mental illness that caused her to take her own life. And I have to ask myself, why did I feel the need to defend her mental health so staunchly? My answer is because for the most part in today’s society, depression and anxiety are shunned, thought of as “bad” or something that we possibly have control over. Resources and funding to help the mentally ill are consistently being cut as the disease spreads like a wildfire through America. And the less resources the mentally ill have, the more end up homeless on the street. When I first arrived in San Francisco in 1992, I was astounded how many folks were wandering the streets. By the time I finally left SF in 2010, there were literal camps of homeless below the freeway on 13th street. My heart simply could not take seeing them all on a daily basis. How in the name of all that is GOoD can we call ourselves the greatest nation in the world when these serious problems plague our society?

For many years, I personally suffered from SEVERE depression and anxiety. My depression was SO crippling at times that my good friends who had compassion and an inclination of what I was enduring would come and stay with me, just so I could find an iota of comfort and/or not harm myself. I can’t pinpoint exactly how, why or when my depressive episodes and anxiety lessened. All I can say is that I AM SO ETERNALLY GRATEFUL THEY DID because those snippets of hell, those dives into the abyss of unimaginable sadness made me understand exactly why people like Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade hung themselves.

My mother suffered from depression. My grandmother was heavily medicated for 45 years of her life for mental health issues. My great grandfather had my great grandmother committed for her mental health and then he took his own life. So, was(is) my tendency towards depression and anxiety genetic OR as my sister Barb had mentioned often, learned bad thinking? Quite honestly, I’m not sure if there is a definitive answer to the cause of my own disease. I have come to attribute my own depression towards being born ultra-sensitive in a society that doesn’t nurture sensitivity. A great book I read to help understand this was “Self Care for the Self Aware” by Dave Markowitz. I also kept deep, dark secrets for many years. And I also used drugs and alcohol to avert my feelings. Since I ceased using drugs (all street and pharms) and alcohol 18 months ago, my depressive episodes have decreased significantly. AND I attribute my “recovery” to having great counseling as well as digging into those places and secrets held inside that haunted me for years. Most importantly, I became willing to open up and not hide anything any longer, and that included my anger and sadness which I believe turned inward was a huge cause of my blues. I decided that I didn’t care what anyone thought of me or how I chose to live my life any longer. I decided that I was going to unconditionally love myself…. AND get a dog!!! So, my “fixes” may not be permanent, nor may they be yours. The most important thing I can suggest for those suffering is to not be afraid to find some help, to find a compassionate ear and last but not least, DO NOT LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU TO “PULL YOURSELF UP BY YOUR BOOTSTRAPS”! As a society, we owe this disease a lot more attention. And…. we owe those who suffer chronically from it A LOT MORE COMPASSION.

 

Posted in Alcoholism, DEATH, Depression, Depression, Drug Abuse, IGNORANCE, MENTAL ILLNESS, RECOVERY, SPIRITUALITY, TRAUMA Tagged , , , , , , , |

TIME TO REMEMBER

It’s been a while. It’s been a long while. My fingertips have missed hitting these keys. Anyone who is a writer or knows about writing knows that inspiration is necessary for the words to emerge. I’m hoping that today is a day where my thoughts translate into a message that helps people discover their potential, their passion, their true nature of living as a Spiritual being having a human experience.

A friend posted this meme on Facebook a few weeks back and I hung onto it in essence to bring forth a message of hope to those who are searching for their place in this seemingly crazy world. When I think back about my life as an innocent, before the world told me who I should be, I see a sweet little girl who loved to play with her kitty cat. I see a little girl who LOVED to be outside in nature and fresh air. I see a little girl who absolutely hated to wear a dress and loved to get dirty. I see a little girl who was very in tune with what was around her and very much focused on love. Unfortunately, a lot of what I experienced growing up was not a positive environment for a child to be raised in. This was not my parent’s fault for they did the best they could. I have long ago forgiven them. AND I have learned that life is always what you make of it and that our experiences can either be used to enhance/enrich our life or they can be a deterrent to our growth. I do believe all in life is meant for our growth. When we have what we may perceive as a negative experience, I believe our job is to look beyond what we are disturbed by and question what we can learn from it. My lessons always seem to be around tolerance and patience, two things my mom always accused me of not having enough of 😉 As far back as I can remember, I have always been a rebel. Children of alcoholics are often deemed anti authoritarian.

Back to the meme… We grow up in a society that seemingly already has quite the established structure of what we should do and be in life. I remember knowing as a child that I was artistic; I loved to write, loved to paint, love to sing and play music. I also remember knowing that I would not bear a child. After years of rebellious behavior as a teen, the time came for me to possibly follow suit. Was I going to college? Was I going to get THAT perfect job, get married, build/buy a house, purchase all the proper insurances, have 2.5 kids and live happily ever after enslaved by someone else’s idea of what my life should be? OR was I going to follow my heart and my dreams and live a life that I designed, not one that society designed for me? For many years I struggled with the fact that I did not live in the “norm”. Like George Carlin suggested many times in his comedic routines, I have ALWAYS QUESTIONED EVERYTHING and came to my own conclusions about what worked for me. Once I did my own investigation, I found that my ideals usually didn’t follow what society favored… Nonetheless, I persisted not withstanding many challenging times both emotionally and financially. But I sure learned something from every single experience I had and it has made me the happy and confident person I am today. And although there are many people I know that poo-poo my at times gravely outspoken nature and free-spirited way of living, what matters most is that I AM HAPPY. And as the Buddha said to his students who questioned THE way to happiness… He said, “There is NO way to happiness. Happiness is THE way”! My motto has always been do what makes you happy as long as you are not hurting anyone else. So when people ask me what I do, I answer that I work every day to maintain my happiness 🙂

So to all the younger folks who might be reading this, I advise you to FOLLOW YOUR BLISS! Take the time to find out who you were before someone told you who you SHOULD be or what you SHOULD be doing in this life. My advice is to first cut your social media time in half. Throw out your TV and read books about real life people who do real life things to change the world! Don’t focus solely on building the bank account because any wise soul knows that money does NOT, and will never buy happiness. Do what you love and enough money to support your passion will follow. Don’t wait for retirement to travel. Go outside every day and consciously breathe in fresh air. Take a spontaneous road trip. Climb a mountain or swim in the frigid ocean. Take the road less traveled. Watch the sunrise and/or the sunset. Do something/anything that makes your heart sing every day. Life is short. Carve out your own path, be proud of it and NEVER look back!

REMEMBER… Life is a journey, not a guided tour 😉

Posted in Alcoholism, CAREER, CAREER COUNSELING, FOLLOW YOUR BLISS, GOLDEN RULE, Life coach, LIGHT, SPIRITUALITY Tagged , , , , , , , , |

“SPEAKING OUR TRUTH…

IS THE MOST POWERFUL TOOL WE ALL HAVE.” Oprah 1/7/18

 

Oprah Winfrey Accepts the Cecil B. de Mille Award – Golden Globes 2018

"I want all of the girls watching here now to know, that a new day is on the horizon. And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say, 'me too' again." Oprah Winfrey accepts the 2018 Cecil B. de Mille award. #GoldenGlobes

Posted by Golden Globes on Sunday, January 7, 2018

 

 

 

Posted in SPIRITUALITY

THIS EXTRAORDINARY TIME…

TO BE ALIVE!

While many are focused on all the negative events currently transpiring in our country and around the world, I am choosing to look to astrology, as well as to Spirituality, and point my own energy/focus to the inevitable evolution of our consciousness that exists underneath the rapidly lifting veils of our egos. Some examples of current attempted constrictions to keep us distracted in our egos are government, mainstream media, wealth or poverty, and religion. I do believe in our lifetimes we shall see MAJOR paradigm shifts of all of these when we realize that we are ENERGY and that WE as energetic beings ARE ONE, always have been one and we will always be one 🙂

One of my favorite astrologers who resides in San Francisco, Susan Levitt, writes this for the month of November, November 2017 is the month of the Dog in Chinese astrology. Dog traits are honesty, integrity, and speaking up for the underdog. The truth is sniffed out, and injustice is exposed. During this Dog month, women have come forward to openly speak about sexual assault, abuse, and harassment. And people believe the women, instead of placing shame and blame for wearing the wrong clothing, saying no when she really meant yes, or other insane justifications.”

So, let’s say bye-bye to sexism, to abuse, to chauvinism… The feminine is rapidly arising… Go girlfriends, go!!!

Having been born in 1964, The following taken from Wikipedia >  “The Sixties”, as they are known in both scholarship and popular culture, is a term used by historians, journalists, and other objective academics; in some cases nostalgically to describe the counterculture and revolution in social norms about clothing, music, drugs, dress, sexuality, formalities, and schooling; and in others pejoratively to denounce the decade as one of irresponsible excess, flamboyance, and decay of social order. The decade was also labeled the Swinging Sixties because of the fall or relaxation of social taboos especially relating to racism and sexism that occurred during this time. Commentator Christopher Booker[4] described this era as a classical Jungian nightmare cycle, where a rigid culture, unable to contain the demands for greater individual freedom, broke free of the social constraints of the previous age through extreme deviation from the norm. He charts the rise, success, fall/nightmare and explosion in the London scene of the 1960s. Several Western nations such as the United States, United Kingdom, France, and West Germany turned to the political left in the early and mid-1960s. <taken from Wikipedia> I almost feel as if I was born a decade too late. Due to the fact that I had much older sisters who were coming of age during this decade, I soaked into my cells a great deal of what transpired during this era. My beliefs and ideals definitely run alongside the deconstruction of rigid ideals and social constraints. My music listening preferences remain in the 60’s – 80’s. 50 years later we are seeing a resurgence of 60’s ideals alongside a further necessary breakdown of racism, sexism, and all that further separates us vs. unites us as a species. We are definitely being called at this time to step into our higher selves, the multi-dimensional aspects of our BEing.

So, will you succumb to the desperate tug of your ego to remain in the 3rd dimensional realm, or will you choose to evolve, to experience the multi-dimensional aspects of your higher self? The choice is yours! I can guarantee the journey in the higher realms is far more adventurous and pleasurable than the rigid illusions currently being presented by our media and our government to attempt to keep us trapped in ego misery.

SO… WHY NOT EVOLVE ALREADY? The ride is SO MUCH MORE FUN!!!

Namasté

Posted in CHURCH, CORPORATE GREED, ETERNAL LIFE, FACTS, GOVERNMENT, GREED, IGNORANCE, INSANITY OF NOW..., Spiritual awakenings, SPIRITUALITY, The 60's, The Church of the Almighty Girlfriend Tagged , , , , , , , , |

DARE TO THINK FOR YOURSELF

“Stop watching the news!
Because the news contrives to frighten you
To make you feel small and alone
To make you feel that your mind isn’t your own” – Morrissey – “Spent the Day in Bed”

Posted in SPIRITUALITY

WE WILL SOON REALIZE WE CANNOT EAT MONEY ~ Cree Proverb

Sits on my dashboard right in front of the passenger seat should it ever be occupied.

Today’s musing is inspired by my 91 year old father, Tony AND Agnes, a sweet 88 year old woman I met at 7 am in Tim Horton’s yesterday morning. She walked by me as I was setting up shop with my computer and started talking with me, saying that she didn’t envy our generation’s use of these things, meaning smart phones and computers. I chatted with her for a few minutes and then asked her to join me. She did briefly, explaining that she had to do her crossword for the day. I suggested she go to her “brain exercises” and then come and join me for a fresh cup of coffee.” She returned about 40 minutes later with a completed puzzle. It was so sweet to see, because my mom after having had her stroke in 2011, taught herself after losing her right side functions in part, how to write with her left hand so that she could do her puzzles, knit, and Jingo. May all the BLESSINGS BE to these elderly folks who have kept their brains sharp doing these little exercises. My mom transitioned with ALL her cookies at 87 and my Dad still has all his at 91. Guess I’ve got some mental astuteness genes to grow old into if I keep my brain at the “gym.” 😉

A topic Agnes and I stumbled upon quite early in our conversation was about the dire state of affairs in our country that is evident to all who have their eyes open. (Yes, there are still MANY wearing the blinders, some so thick and heavy that even if they wanted to take them off, they couldn’t!) She expounded upon all the things she has seen since 1929. She was a very young girl during the great depression and an orphan to boot. She witnessed how without community help, people perished. From infancy to age six she was in an orphanage and those years were hell to her. She stated in essence how people had an entirely different mentality towards money back then and the barter system was in full swing during the depression and for some time afterwards. In a nutshell, Agnes really traced all the problems we currently are experiencing in this great nation of ours back to GREED. AND I COULD NOT AGREE MORE.

This particular blog is very relevant for me. Good friends of mine know that when I travel in KaraVan, I budget accordingly and have never had issues as I always have a credit card for backup. On this latest trip to Maine and Nova Scotia, I ended up crossing the border from Canada with $2.37 back on September 20th after nearly a month in Canada and after eating rice and beans for 10 days straight! (I didn’t really care because what I was doing was far more important than what I was eating!) After crossing over at Calais, Maine 6 am, I had to pull over and wait until 9 am for my friend “Kitty’s” Paypal gift to arrive in my account so that I could fill up my gas tank to get to my destination in Belfast where my “good mechanic” was. I was toatlly exhausted. The main reason I was SO exhausted was because I got ROBBED BLINDLY by a mechanic in Nova Scotia and had spent the last 7 days struggling with a van that would stall at all times, often while traveling 60  mph on the highway or just when idling and she would cease to be restarted until 20-30 minutes later after for it to cool down.  (Please if you are reading this, DO NOT EVER GO TO “JEFF’S OLD VOLKS HOME” in East Chester, Nova Scotia.)  Yes, JOVH… It sure is a clever and amusing name and one might expect an older guy with a beard and dirty coveralls to appear with a screwdriver in hand and ask with what he might be able to help. Instead, I walked into a brand new building with meticulously uniformed employees that began their work day at 8 am ON THE DOT. The work orders were all neatly lined up on the desk and in the pit of my stomach I had a bad feeling… And ever since that day, I WILL NEVER, EVER NOT LISTEN TO MY GUT AGAIN. And Jeff? When recently called out on the FACT that he charged me almost $700 and didn’t fix the problem, after two trips and charging me an extra 1.5 hours for labor that I recorded while waiting right there at his shop, he proceeded to recite some legal jargon to me about his policies when I debated with him about the fee. ARROGANT PRICK is what I call men like him… Money hungry to boot to pay for everything brand spanking new at his OLD Volks Home. It’s quite ironic, no? By the way, the BEST mechanic, Iain Pottle at the Beetle Shop in Belfast, Maine had my van for two days after the Jeff’s Old Volks Home fiasco and only billed me $125.00 at an attempted fix. Now, that to me is good and FAIR business. He treated me like a human being who had experienced a lot of trouble with a single problem and was committed to finding out what that problem was, not just treating me like another number who he could bill out to @ $100/hr especially because they were “on the road” and would probably never see you again… Bravo, Iain for actually diagnosing and then fixing and standing behind what you do, how you do and why you do!

The fabulous Iain Pottle and Stacie in Belfast Maine.

I keep wondering when people are going to realize that the love of money (AKA GREED) is going to be the death of us as humanity, especially in the Capitalistic West? We are watching our corporate owned government rape and lie to us daily. We continue to take all the fossil fuels from our mother while having knowledge of alternative energy sources that would TOTALLY supply us with what we need, plus some… My biggest question is… What are people going to do when the paper stuff is no longer worth anything? Recently, when I needed $360 to be lent to me to pay the crook in Nova Scotia, amongst five I asked for help, two of my friends stepped forward with their credit cards – my accountant who did my #’s for many years in San Francisco, and my soul sister, Silvia in Austria who I have known and LOVED since 1994 when we ventured to Croatia to work with the Bosnian refugee children in the camps. Both of these folks and I share the same heart space and we all know that MONEY IS JUST AN ENERGY. When one hangs onto it, one does not welcome more of it, rather constricts the flow. I did lose a 24 year friendship over someone’s inability to extend a very temporary loan to me for that repair. And I simply have to chalk it up who I NEED in my life as we continue to head into what are apparently very dire times in our country due to intense natural disasters and our government not doing a thing to actually serve it’s people as it was intended to by our forefathers. GREED HAS DESTROYED CONGRESS. GREED IS SITTING IN THE OVAL OFFICE. GREED IS SUGGESTING a $700 BILLION increase in defense while leaving single payer heath care on the back burner.  BIG $$ IS OIL. BIG $$ IS PHARMACEUTICALS. BIG $$ IS INSURANCE. BIG $$ HAS CORRUPTED OUR GOVERNMENT BEYOND RECOGNITION…

In concluding this particular missive, the Universe seems to be accomplishing a natural weeding out process for me, a natural selection of sorts, leaving those of like-mind and heart AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, those who are concerned first and foremost with their fellow human’s and our mother’s well-being. Nope, we certainly will NOT be able to eat currency. So, my question is… what are YOU going to do? Are you going to hold onto a piece of coal, wait and hope that is turns into a diamond? Or are you going to step forward and see your fellow humans in need and extend a form of energy to them that will not always be available or any other form for that matter if it is terribly excruciating to part with the green stuff? After all these years, I simply am left wondering in disbelief how people cling so desperately to money? How much does one actually need? And if you are saving for a rainy day? Remember, some place on this earth it is raining. ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER, IT IS IN GIVING THAT WE RECEIVE… OPEN YOUR HEART AND GIVE SOMETHING TO SOMEONE TODAY, MAYBE EVEN A COMPLETE STRANGER, PLEASE?

I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I CERTAINLY WANT 
GOOD 
KARMA IN THESE CHALLENGING TIMES 🙂

Namasté

Posted in ARMAGEDDON, CORPORATE GREED, GOLDEN RULE, GOVERNMENT, GREED, IGNORANCE, LIES, Native Americans, politics, RECOVERY, The Church of the Almighty Girlfriend, TRUMP, VW VANAGON REPAIR Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

WHAT ABOUT US?

WHAT ABOUT US ? ? ?

Posted in Barbara A Ruof, CHURCH, GOVERNMENT, Spiritual awakenings, SPIRITUALITY, The Church of the Almighty Girlfriend

ARMAGEDDON – the LIGHT vs the dark

My beloved sister Barb now in Spirit took me by the hand when I was quite small, 7 or 8,  and told me not to believe that bible stuff, to trust that life after death did indeed exist, but that it was not about going to heaven or hell. She tried very tenderly to put me on the path of Spirituality and appreciation for the finer “things” in life. She often took me to the Albright Knox Art Gallery, the Museum of Science and also always validated my love of the outdoors and animals. Many years later when I visited San Francisco for the first time, she took me to the Spiritualist Church with her where we received readings from the reverends who delivered messages from loved ones in “on the other side.” I was always fascinated how Spirits gravitated towards her, my great aunt Anna who died of Cancer in the late 70’s and then my grandmother when she passed in the late 80’s both visited her often. My readings were often ambiguous, which I see at that time was exactly my connection to the Spirit world. Nonetheless over the years, after having a horrendous experience as a teenager with a “born again” family member, I gravitated much more towards things that were Spiritual.

It was in my late 20’s, while some of my friends who grew up in tumultuous households such as mine were reaching towards psychotherapists, that I was making the occasional visit to a psychic or going for long walks by large bodies of water and connecting deeply to the peace I felt around it. I did things like hypnotherapy and totally believed in past lives. I also really started to explore what Spirituality really meant TO ME, my own brand so to speak. I delved into Buddhism and Hinduism for a while. What I found after studying quite a bit was seemingly one common element, the belief in a love so vast, the Universe could not contain it! I have always been a swimmer, and being an extra large Pisces astrologically, water is my home or calming element. I always went to Lake Erie growing up and when I moved to San Francisco full time in 1992 at age 28 (my Saturn return) I had all the water I needed, plus the most diverse, cosmopolitain and gorgeous city in our country. When I felt troubled about something, I ventured to the ocean and let the waves wash over me metaphorically and sometimes physically. The negative ions soothed my physical body and calmed my soul. I also began to study body, energy and breath works to connect deeper to myself and others. My book takes time to describe some of these journeys and I will just say in attempting to close this thought, that I have ALWAYS been Spiritual, never Religious. That old saying comes into play here that “Religion is for those who fear hell and Spirituality is for those who have been there!”

As a young child, I remember feeling a deep connection to the Native Americans and to all “God’s” creatures. The Seneca Indians used to have a daily dance at the Fair and Exposition which ran for 8 days in mid August in our county Erie of Western New York. Back then they were called Indians 😉 and there were two tribes that had settled in this area, the Seneca and the Erie. I remember getting a small replica of a drum when I was little and my animal totem was a black bear. (I still have Barry BlackBeary although he is falling apart.) Their traditional clothing fascinated me, especially the footwear, and I always wanted my hair to be long and thick, just like the beautiful Native American women. In the summer of 1999 when I sat in “CHURCH” with the Native Americans in a teepee in Oregon, around a blazing fire pit, with song, and peyote ceremony that took place from sun down to sun up on the summer solstice, I realized exactly why I had always felt so connected to the Natives. In that teepee, I truly saw THE Truth or what some refer to as “God.” The Natives had welcomed me into their ceremony as one of their own and I felt SO privileged.  To this day, it was probably the single most life-altering experience I have had. It is described in detail in my book. But why do I favor the Native American “Religion” so much? Because it is all about our earth and the creatures that inhabit it. There’s the utmost respect for all that comes from our mother, all our “ancestors” that came before us and for all who will come after we leave our mother. 

The question today is… Why do I think Religion is such bullshit? (Because it was developed by man for man because there needed to be some form of mind control. Heaven forbid we should all discover that we have all the power of the Universe accessible to us!) We are ALL Spiritual first and foremost. Because we just are, end of story. We are born of Spirit and it is proven that our Spirit leaves our body to return to the Universe when we die. SEE THIS ARTICLE for some interesting reading. The point I am trying to make is that we are ALL energy, just energy embodying physical forms. Einstein said we could never understand it all and I would never ever claim to. I just know what I feel intuitively. And what I feel intuitively about the times that we are living in is exactly what Dr Christiane Northrup said that was quoted in my last blog. That the LIGHT is accelerating. That is hitting us so fast and hard that the Darkness has no choice but to be exposed, to come out of hiding. Since the eclipse, the storms of fire and water have intensified. Our political climate is extremely volatile. The energy is heating things up. Fires, floods, hurricanes, disasters… I tend to believe that a lot of this has to do with the anti-Christ that some elected as the POTUS. (He’s not mine.) But what is for sure is that Mother Nature is rip shit angry. There have been jokes about her going off her meds…. This is no joke folks. This is her saying WTFU NOW before I release the Hell that has no fury on y’all. My heart goes out to all the innocent people effected by the natural disasters of late. And because we are a collective consciousness, it is time for us to ALL wake up and do the next right thing. To be present in the moment. To stop being so concerned with materialism, technology and other bullshit. Our planet is crying and human lives are being lost. STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO! What you better do is learn how to hunt, fish and grow. Learn how to purify water. Learn how to build shelter. Because water doesn’t come from the faucet and food from the store. Because Armageddon seems to be knocking on the door. That’s why… Namasté ~ Mitákuye Oyás’iŋ (All Are Related)

Posted in ARMAGEDDON, CHURCH, DEATH, Depression, Emotions, ETERNAL LIFE, Faith, LIGHT, NATIVE AMERICAN, PEYOTE, Religion, SPIRITUALITY Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!

Come on out Sisters, wave your flags and speak your truth!

“The revelations about Harvey Weinstein have stuck a deep cord within me. Not because this kind of thing is anything new, but because, for the very first time in my lifetime, our society is not protecting a powerful and rich sexual predator– and neither is his wife. Or the media. Why? Because women have finally become strong enough and empowered enough collectively to risk telling the truth. And instead of backing down, we are rising in support. The tide is really turning. Back in the 1980’s when I was starting out in practice, I saw the toll that silence about abuse takes on women’s bodies. I noticed that many women with conditions such as chronic pelvic pain had been sexually abused. My colleagues denied this and told me my patients were “crazy” and that they only saw “normal” women. I persisted in telling the truth. And it cost me. But over time, my observations have become mainstream and we have the data to prove it. Long ago, Sonia Johnson who wrote From Housewife to Heretic, wrote, ” Women are rising like yeast all over the planet.” And indeed– that yeast has just taken a quantum leap. Predators beware. Your days are numbered. I know we have a long way to go still. But– women have been oppressed for about 5000 years. And we only got the right to vote in the US in 1919. ( which passed by only one vote and was not an easy battle.)

The change is speeding up– the light is getting lighter. Quickly. And that is why the Dark is fighting so hard to maintain control. Trust the light. You with me?” Dr Christiane Northrop

Namasté

IT”S SIMPLY TIME TO WAKE UP GALS!
The Church of the Almighty Girlfriend is currently taking new members.

Artwork by Phyllis DeJohn, best friend of Barbara A Ruof

Posted in 45, ASSWIPE IN CHIEF, Depression, Dignity, Faith, GOLDEN RULE, INSANITY OF NOW..., LIGHT, RECOVERY, Spiritual awakenings, SPIRITUALITY, The Church of the Almighty Girlfriend, Vaccine Damage Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

DIARY OF AN ANGRY WHITE WOMAN WHO TAKES NICE PICTURES :-)

Final sunset unaltered, Lake Megunticook – Camden, Maine – 9/22/17

I’m finding it quite interesting how folks have been offering up their opinions about my anger and how it is directed, especially those who have not taken the time to read my blogs and have only seen my “pukes” on SaveFacebook. Really now, heaven forbid one should be angry and actually write about it or express it? [ Shhhh. Don’t let them see that. What will the neighbors think? ] Part of my work on this planet in this lifetime is to bring awareness to the beauty of the planet through my imagery. In essence, it is about saying, “Take a look at this. If we don’t wake up as a collective consciousness, this ain’t gonna be here much sooner than later.” So, my writing in many ways, and not anything but pulling straight up punches, is about the things I feel people are still not seeing, about pointing out moral and ethical wrong doings, about calling out “blowhards” like these straight, white, male, rednecks I went to High School with when I get called a “rug muncher” or an “angry lesbian” or a “man hater” or a “sensitive pussy.” Sorry, I am just not evolved enough to sit back and send compassion to such ignorance who still in 2017 judges anyone by their sexuality or the color of their skin, heaven forbid. Nope, not there yet. May never be.Its clear to me that often one gets more reward in life with sugar than vinegar. This is not a time for sugar coating anything, my friends… (that is those who truly still qualify.) Just a little aside here…There is a fabulous photographer named Dewitt Jones and his tag line is “Celebrate What’s Right with the World.” I strive to photograph like Dewitt and put that message out there with my imagery. My writing obviously addresses other “issues” I feel need to be focused on to be able to KEEP CELEBRATING WHAT’S RIGHT WITH THE WORLD FOR GENERATIONS TO COME!”

 

I’m not going to apologize for being brash or a hard ass any longer. However, if someone steps forward that feels I have personally offended them, I will certainly listen. Maybe some feel like I just let loose, but if I have actually offended anyone personally, I will certainly take it to heart and most likely 99% offer you a most sincere apology and look to see how I can better phrase what I write or say. Mostly, I just write my free flowing thoughts and feelings to humanity at large. And if you haven’t figured it out by now, one of my biggest issues with humanity at large in this day and age, is THE INABILITY TO BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT. The second is IGNORANCE. Ex. Mona and I were driving to a Dr’s appointment the other morning and on the I-90 where the 400 splits off to East Aurora, a woman cut across 3 lanes of traffic and then slammed on her brakes to make the exit when she was in front of my slow house that doesn’t stop on a dime. Needless to say, I had to SLAM on the brakes and everything, including poor little Mona and myself, went flying. THAT is the perfect example of not being present. Whatever she was doing that caused her to do such a thing at the last moment, caused not only myself and my sweet animal shock, but a few other drivers as well.

We are a nation GUILTY of NOT BEING PRESENT and QUITE SICK WITH SELF-ABSORPTION IF YOU ASK ME! (Heaven forbid you should ask me!) We spend the majority of our time ruminating on the mistakes of the past, the coulda, shoulda, woulda or worrying about the future. If we truly could live and breathe in the moment, instead of needing to check our phone every 5 minutes, we would be a happier and centered collective body of human energy. And yes, that is what we are, a COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. So, how about we think more about switching the I, I, I verbiage to the WE, WE, WE??? In closing this topic about expression of anger, if one more person mentions my anger issues to me without reading my blog, well, I can’t promise what might come their way! At least they have the decency to preface it with “I didn’t read your blog, but…” Whatever… it’s one of the main reasons that I have exited from SaveFacebook because of the I, I, I look at me shit. And also because people simply do not take the time to read any longer. So, I say…. DEATH TO THE 2 SECOND ATTENTION SPAN!

On the “collective.” A fellow Spiritualist and healing facilitator and I were speaking last night and she said something to me, quite adamantly I will add, about putting out energy to something and making it bigger. And at one point she said something about being drained by what I put energy into. Some say that being angry is not Spiritual. Some say that putting attention onto the current extreme dysfunction in our country is not doing any good because it just gets me more pissed off and it will be what it will be and shift on it’s own… FALSE, FALSE, AND FALSE! Once I do something/anything such as taking MY precious time to write a blog or speak with someone about what (I FEEL) needs to happen to make positive and effective change, I feel a whole lot better AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS OF ATTEMPTING TO HEAL HUMANITY AND OUR PLANET.

In closing this morning’s missive…NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO LIVE IN MY SKIN RIGHT NOWABSOLUTELY NO ONE!!! No one knows the gamut of emotions I am currently experiencing. I think a few have a pretty good idea about how much I am enraged by what is currently happening to our county induced by a government that has NOT worked FOR the people in a VERY LONG TIME. Anyone who has tragically lost a sibling might be able to relate a bit. But please, before you go giving me advice on how to move through what I am currently moving through or what to do to cease my anger, walk a mile in my moccasins. I don’t really wish the current gamut of emotional waves washing over me on anyone right now. (Except for the pure bliss and connection to the DIVINE I feel when I channel my sister in her late 20’s and blast the Rolling Stones.) I realize that it is my job to keep letting those feelings flow, especially the extreme sadness, to let the tears flow and to direct my anger at what I am generally angry at >> The INABILITY TO BE PRESENT and IGNORANCE << to release them in a safe environment and ultimately to keep working to find compassion for what I FEEL IS IGNORANCE – as well as to work to help people find out what it actually means and feels like to be PRESENT IN THE MOMENTUnlike my dear B who felt her work was done on this planet, mine has only just begun. Wasn’t that a Carpenter’s song???

Namasté

Posted in Depression, Emotions, euthenasia, IGNORANCE, INSANITY OF NOW..., LIGHT, RECOVERY, social media addiction, Spiritual awakenings, The Church of the Almighty Girlfriend Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , |