THIS BLOG IS PUBLISHED IN HONOR OF A WOMAN WHO WAS NOT AFRAID TO SPEAK HER TRUTH EVER… RIP B… 7.20.54 – 9.28.17
And I welcome myself back to what I currently dub as borderline civil war hell, aka the Divided States of America. Some who have known me many years know that because of my extensive travels on the North American continent, Europe and the Middle East, I have often returned to the US, which is where my passport was issued, thinking how utterly dysfunctional we are as a nation. I make that statement not discounting the great things about this nation I cherish, such as my freedom of speech first and foremost, and my birth as a woman in a relatively “free country” that allows me to travel the world. Yes, there are definitely a few things, alongside the immense beauty of this land, that I value as being a US Citizen. Some call my opinions based on experience and facts about the current state of affairs in the US unpatriotic . Some deem my opinions based on experience and facts a display of my arrogance. Some simply call my opinions based on experience and facts being an “asshole!” Needless to say, after 32 years of excursions outside of this country, I have earned the right to say that the USA is DEFINITELY NOT THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. And I question if it ever indeed was…
After leaving the bubble of peaceful Canada a full week ago on 9/20 and Maine just this past Saturday, 9/23, I knew that my arrival in Hamburg, NY was imminent. Today, I shall travel to “the Town that Friendship Built and Gossip Destroyed.” I don’t bunk down there any longer when in Western NY thanks to a great friend with an uber serene place out in the country who stores my few remaining possessions of value and gives Mona and I refuge and use of her house when needed. The further away from Hamburg the better for me!!! The town is an ever more sprawling suburb south of the city of Buffalo by say 20-90 minutes, depending on the weather. Hamburg is also right smack dab in the middle of the “snow belt.” So when you read in the paper or see on TV that Buffalo got 6 feet of snow, it most likely is in Hamburg. My parents moved us there when I was 2, when Parker Road was still a country road. We had a big back yard an iconic red barn across the street with horses. Traffic was minimal and it was an ideal place to grow up playing outside. When the farmer across the street died, a greedy neighbor down the street bought the property and land and then sold it to a developer who built these audacious “patio homes.” When they tore down the barn across the street to build, I cried. Yes, my 91 year old father still lives in his home on Parker Road. Admittedly, I have mostly had a hate relationship with that area/town. Why? First, because I endured so much intense family dysfunction in my parent’s home growing up with a raging alcoholic. Second, when I was 7 years old, I developed VITILIGO, an autoimmune disorder where the melanocyte cells attack one another and one’s pigment disappears. (In my book, I shall detail what the Spiritual/Metaphysical explanation is to Vitiligo. It basically is a “complete inability to feel like one belongs” according to Louise Hay.
One can only imagine the scars this left on me well into my mid 40’s. Here I will extend big gratitude to some of my childhood friends from St Bernadette’s catholic grade school like Paula Jordan, Amy Marshall, Joanie Pawlowski, Cathy Carlone, Mark Weimer, Larry Rosiek, Joe Ruesch… who were all very sweet about my unsightly disorder as a child. They affectionately dubbed me “Cougar” and Paula told me yesterday that her very sweet, nearing 90 year old mom, Mary Beth, still calls me Cougar to this day! [[ I’m not sure exactly why cougar because leopards had spots, not cougars. Amy Marshall called me Cougar Poopathorn.]] Anyway, thanks to the few who were kind and screw the rest who stared and said “ewww!” I specifically remember one time at the village swimming pool when a kid a bit older than me walked by me, pointed and stared and said to her mother “Ewwww, what is wrong with her skin?” (I’ve always had olive Croatian skin and tan fast and dark leaving my “spots” blaring.) She looked as if by glaring at it, she would catch it. It’s just a small example of the pain due to human’s ignorance I endured in this white bread mentality town over the years. For some reason, as a friend and I recently discussed, there is an air of superiority that exists in this weird fucking town. For some reason, some of the “high society” people in Hamburg had this strange idea that they were better than everyone else. Mostly, it was the parent’s of my friends who had a membership to the local country club. And if your father was a dentist or a doctor, it gave your mother a reason to walk around like “her shit didn’t stink” as my beloved down-to-earth mother used to say.
So, this upcoming time in Western New York will be short lived. I’m not interested in staying in an area any longer that has such bad memories and a faction of GOP ignorance in the population that refuses to see the current destruction this administration is wreaking country and worldwide. Quite honestly, as I have agreed on numerous forums of late, we all are entitled to our opinions. However, when your opinions are based on #fakenews, and current government and media propaganda to promote what the Orange Anus is attempting to execute, should you initiate a discussion, I WILL FEVERISHLY DEBATE YOU WITH FACTS until the day is long. So beware my WNY friends, if we do not share the same thoughts about the current POTUS and how he and his media (Fox and Breitbart) are persistently attempting to destroy and divide America, you just might want to avoid me. Yes, J.P., an uneducated and military arrogant ass I went to High School with (I strongly disliked him there because he thought he was God’s gift and only liked to affiliate with the prettiest girls, although he never could get one) I want to thank you for showing your true self yesterday by rebutting to my request for reason on a friend’s post, by calling me fat, ugly, telling me I looked like Bruce Jenner, (little did he know that Bruce does not exist any longer) attacking my supposed sexuality (which is rumored only and food for that wonderful gossip that destroys relationships) and showing your true ignorance. You made me feel like I was right back in grade school again and getting mocked for my skin disorder and teased relentlessly for being overweight. Except, as a 53 year old, well travelled, well educated, tough bitch who has been through far more shit than was in your fatigue pants when you served, I realize how unbelievably shallow some folks still are. I thank the Great Spirits that BE, that I have grown up to understand that you are most likely and quite sadly suffering enough from your own insecurities to attack someone else as such. I’ll be back! Namasté