Category Archives: Spiritual awakenings
“The revelations about Harvey Weinstein have stuck a deep cord within me. Not because this kind of thing is anything new, but because, for the very first time in my lifetime, our society is not protecting a powerful and rich sexual predator– and neither is his wife. Or the media. Why? Because women have finally become strong enough and empowered enough collectively to risk telling the truth. And instead of backing down, we are rising in support. The tide is really turning. Back in the 1980’s when I was starting out in practice, I saw the toll that silence about abuse takes on women’s bodies. I noticed that many women with conditions such as chronic pelvic pain had been sexually abused. My colleagues denied this and told me my patients were “crazy” and that they only saw “normal” women. I persisted in telling the truth. And it cost me. But over time, my observations have become mainstream and we have the data to prove it. Long ago, Sonia Johnson who wrote From Housewife to Heretic, wrote, ” Women are rising like yeast all over the planet.” And indeed– that yeast has just taken a quantum leap. Predators beware. Your days are numbered. I know we have a long way to go still. But– women have been oppressed for about 5000 years. And we only got the right to vote in the US in 1919. ( which passed by only one vote and was not an easy battle.)
The change is speeding up– the light is getting lighter. Quickly. And that is why the Dark is fighting so hard to maintain control. Trust the light. You with me?” Dr Christiane Northrop
IT”S SIMPLY TIME TO WAKE UP GALS!
The Church of the Almighty Girlfriend is currently taking new members.
I’m finding it quite interesting how folks have been offering up their opinions about my anger and how it is directed, especially those who have not taken the time to read my blogs and have only seen my “pukes” on SaveFacebook. Really now, heaven forbid one should be angry and actually write about it or express it? [ Shhhh. Don’t let them see that. What will the neighbors think? ] Part of my work on this planet in this lifetime is to bring awareness to the beauty of the planet through my imagery. In essence, it is about saying, “Take a look at this. If we don’t wake up as a collective consciousness, this ain’t gonna be here much sooner than later.” So, my writing in many ways, and not anything but pulling straight up punches, is about the things I feel people are still not seeing, about pointing out moral and ethical wrong doings, about calling out “blowhards” like these straight, white, male, rednecks I went to High School with when I get called a “rug muncher” or an “angry lesbian” or a “man hater” or a “sensitive pussy.” Sorry, I am just not evolved enough to sit back and send compassion to such ignorance who still in 2017 judges anyone by their sexuality or the color of their skin, heaven forbid. Nope, not there yet. May never be.Its clear to me that often one gets more reward in life with sugar than vinegar. This is not a time for sugar coating anything, my friends… (that is those who truly still qualify.) Just a little aside here…There is a fabulous photographer named Dewitt Jones and his tag line is “Celebrate What’s Right with the World.” I strive to photograph like Dewitt and put that message out there with my imagery. My writing obviously addresses other “issues” I feel need to be focused on to be able to KEEP CELEBRATING WHAT’S RIGHT WITH THE WORLD FOR GENERATIONS TO COME!”
I’m not going to apologize for being brash or a hard ass any longer. However, if someone steps forward that feels I have personally offended them, I will certainly listen. Maybe some feel like I just let loose, but if I have actually offended anyone personally, I will certainly take it to heart and most likely 99% offer you a most sincere apology and look to see how I can better phrase what I write or say. Mostly, I just write my free flowing thoughts and feelings to humanity at large. And if you haven’t figured it out by now, one of my biggest issues with humanity at large in this day and age, is THE INABILITY TO BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT. The second is IGNORANCE. Ex. Mona and I were driving to a Dr’s appointment the other morning and on the I-90 where the 400 splits off to East Aurora, a woman cut across 3 lanes of traffic and then slammed on her brakes to make the exit when she was in front of my slow house that doesn’t stop on a dime. Needless to say, I had to SLAM on the brakes and everything, including poor little Mona and myself, went flying. THAT is the perfect example of not being present. Whatever she was doing that caused her to do such a thing at the last moment, caused not only myself and my sweet animal shock, but a few other drivers as well.
We are a nation GUILTY of NOT BEING PRESENT and QUITE SICK WITH SELF-ABSORPTION IF YOU ASK ME! (Heaven forbid you should ask me!) We spend the majority of our time ruminating on the mistakes of the past, the coulda, shoulda, woulda or worrying about the future. If we truly could live and breathe in the moment, instead of needing to check our phone every 5 minutes, we would be a happier and centered collective body of human energy. And yes, that is what we are, a COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. So, how about we think more about switching the I, I, I verbiage to the WE, WE, WE??? In closing this topic about expression of anger, if one more person mentions my anger issues to me without reading my blog, well, I can’t promise what might come their way! At least they have the decency to preface it with “I didn’t read your blog, but…” Whatever… it’s one of the main reasons that I have exited from SaveFacebook because of the I, I, I look at me shit. And also because people simply do not take the time to read any longer. So, I say…. DEATH TO THE 2 SECOND ATTENTION SPAN!
On the “collective.” A fellow Spiritualist and healing facilitator and I were speaking last night and she said something to me, quite adamantly I will add, about putting out energy to something and making it bigger. And at one point she said something about being drained by what I put energy into. Some say that being angry is not Spiritual. Some say that putting attention onto the current extreme dysfunction in our country is not doing any good because it just gets me more pissed off and it will be what it will be and shift on it’s own… FALSE, FALSE, AND FALSE! Once I do something/anything such as taking MY precious time to write a blog or speak with someone about what (I FEEL) needs to happen to make positive and effective change, I feel a whole lot better AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS OF ATTEMPTING TO HEAL HUMANITY AND OUR PLANET.
In closing this morning’s missive…NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO LIVE IN MY SKIN RIGHT NOW, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!!! No one knows the gamut of emotions I am currently experiencing. I think a few have a pretty good idea about how much I am enraged by what is currently happening to our county induced by a government that has NOT worked FOR the people in a VERY LONG TIME. Anyone who has tragically lost a sibling might be able to relate a bit. But please, before you go giving me advice on how to move through what I am currently moving through or what to do to cease my anger, walk a mile in my moccasins. I don’t really wish the current gamut of emotional waves washing over me on anyone right now. (Except for the pure bliss and connection to the DIVINE I feel when I channel my sister in her late 20’s and blast the Rolling Stones.) I realize that it is my job to keep letting those feelings flow, especially the extreme sadness, to let the tears flow and to direct my anger at what I am generally angry at >> The INABILITY TO BE PRESENT and IGNORANCE << to release them in a safe environment and ultimately to keep working to find compassion for what I FEEL IS IGNORANCE – as well as to work to help people find out what it actually means and feels like to be PRESENT IN THE MOMENT. Unlike my dear B who felt her work was done on this planet, mine has only just begun. Wasn’t that a Carpenter’s song???
Yes, I finally did it. I de-activated my Facebook account. I had to finally break a very unhealthy addiction. Thanks to some lovely “moral majority – right wing” #dolts who have not a clue what a FACT is, who turned around after I wrote my last blog and insisted that it was “leftist bullshit” and that I was mentally ill (CORRECT? cuz FACTS have a party affiliation? And when you can’t come back with anything to intellectually debate, of course you attack someone’s mental health or physical appearance!) I thought, WHY IN THE NAME OF ANYTHING GOOD AM I WASTING MY TIME WITH THESE #DOLTS? Yes, “I let go of that which no longer serves my highest good.” And if you who I have been feverishly debating (with futility I might add) are reading this, I truly do thank you for sparking my greater intelligence. My better judgement said, “Get rid of Facebook altogether because the IGNORANCE on there disturbs you so that you can’t simply just “scroll on by.”” Yes, in my EDUCATED OPINION, IGNORANCE prevails amongst those who still are waiving the flag in the name of patriotism in this day and age. This is #fakepatriotism, IMO. Little do most “wavers” realize that the most patriotic thing a TRUE American can do is question his government, his leadership, and when it is not serving it’s people as it should, not hide behind a flag, or an anthem or “service” in our armed forces to defend our so-called freedom. Oh, that last sentence is definitely an opinion although I sure stand behind what Teddy said… FYI, I will no longer be writing my blogs to waste time on #dolts, yet hopefully, through my own shit storms and blisses of life, write for those who are interested in being better and more evolved humans and taking the optimum care of our planet and ALL it’s life forms! ONWARD…
About 8 months ago, I began a daily recital upon awakening the mantra above that titles this blog. It was one that was given to me a very long time ago from one of my Spiritual teachers in California. Two weeks after crossing over the border of peaceful Canada into this cesspool of drama and political chaos, I watched and FELT myself getting more tense, getting more ANGRY… People kept telling me I was angry and I was like, “Really, you think so??? Duh!” I think I am self-aware enough to take some time when feeling stuff like that arise in me to take a step back, to take a breath and get to what the root of it is as to not let it leak out to situations or direct it at people who do not deserve it. As I wrote recently, there is nothing wrong with expression of anger as long as it is directed towards what or who you are actually angry at and as long as it does not turn violent or harm another. Anger is just an E-motion = energy in motion. That is why those who have pent up stress or anger often resort to exercises like kick boxing to release it. (BTW, my recent anger that arose was properly directed at the #fuckingdolts who still support that Orange Anus. So, after the events of Thursday which I am getting to, A VERY wise woman advised me on Friday… “Sue, now that you have found what you think the root is, (operative word is think there – wink wink 😉 why not go to a big beautiful tree in the yard and wrap your arms around it and send it down into the earth, to the very core, where the molten lava exists? And then, don’t forget to ask Gaia, or the GREAT SPIRITS THAT BE, to come in and replace that emotional release (anger) with a positive and healthy energy.” Best advice in that moment for sure. Thank you Cyndy! I will continue repeat this process until the bucket of anger is empty, so that I do not have to dip back in again. A wise and aware person, never lets that bucket fill back up again if they truly are living consciously in the moment, which is what I attempt to do each and every day. So, in closing this thought, I am going to again state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with anger. It’s all how you handle and express it. So again, I want to thank the #FUCKINGDOLTS for bringing to light my RAGE over IGNORANCE! After what I am about to share next I do believe a HUGE piece has been lifted in the last few days and I can now allow more of my divine flow in or step further into my Goddess shoes (or flip flops 😉 as Cyndy also recently suggested.
I arrived back in my beloved hometown late on last Wednesday evening, 9.27. As those of you know who have read my recent blogs, I do not have very fond memories of growing up in WNY and could not wait to get out of here after high school. I woke however on Thursday refreshed and happy to be “grounded again” at least for a short spell, to begin the work of editing over 800 images shot on my recent journey. Mona is also happy to be back with her boyfriend Matix. My sister Mary came out to Clarence to have lunch with us and it was pleasant and relaxing. I bid her a good day and came into the house to find 2 messages on my computer from a friend in my sister Barb’s neighborhood. They simply said “Sue” and then another “Sue.” I can’t explain the feeling that came over me, but I knew it was really NOT good. My mind immediately went to the worst. And my worst was confirmed shortly thereafter a brief phone call with Shannon Maurer, that my sister was indeed deceased. For any of you that knew my sister Barb, you do know that she had basically been a shut in for the last 2 decades, more or less. After the birth of her second son in San Francisco, she started experiencing terrible neurological problems, such as her mind thinking to turn on a light switch and her body not responding. Without elaboration, I will say that her life slowly became hell, that living in her at heaviest 115 lb body became more and more excruciating. So, with great grace, dignity and COURAGE, my sister Barb took her own life at 63 years old on September 28. 2017. She leaves behind 2 wonderful young men in the world with new families of their own. A few years ago when Barb made it common knowledge that she wished to exit her body, she made it very clear that she thought her work was done on the planet in this lifetime, raising her sons so that each had loves in their lives and children either on the way or already here. Unfortunately, she told too many people, myself being one of them, an
d I told someone who called Crisis Services against my adamant plea not to do so crying on my knees in her house. I consider this to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life because my poor sister not only had to endure another 3 plus years in a body that did not serve her, but when they threw her in the hoosegow, (aka as the psych ward – and here is where the RAGE comes in for she was NOT MENTALLY ILL IN THE LEAST!!!) she had a massive seizure and busted up her shoulder requiring major surgery and adding more pain on top of the already existing unbearable… I wish to end here and now without elaborating on how it has effected everyone involved. Nor do I believe any more details are necessary to be expelled here except MY SISTER DID NOT DIE FROM A MENTAL ILLNESS as I am certain the “town that friendship built and gossip destroyed (Barb coined that phrase by the way) would probably like to be reveling in rumor.” LET IT BE KNOWN HERE THAT MY SISTER DIED WITH DIGNITY AND GRACE AND HAD MORE COURAGE TO DO WHAT SHE DID, (DESPITE WHAT OTHERS MAY DEEM COWARDICE) THAN 99% OF THE HUMANS I AM ACQUAINTED WITH WILL EVER HAVE! Unlike what the “Christians” might say that she went to hell for “suicide” I beg to differ. Like a pure-souled animal, she went to the human rainbow bridge, right straight on, not passing GO or collecting $200! She very basically assisted herself out of a body that no longer could house her gregarious Spirit. [ By the way, even if Barb DID have mental health issues, the whole stigma of mental health and suicide is yet another sickness in our Western society that needs to be healed.]
In closing… “I let go of that which no longer serves my highest good.” The gamut of emotions I have experienced during this, definitely one of, if not THE most difficult times of my life, are up at the surface and raw. Boy, have I had my work cut out for me after the last days as anyone would have expect. One of my main points being here is be careful what you ask for, cuz you definitely will get it and you NEVER know what it will look like. And, ALSO, this is NOT about me, but the situation has caused me to WTFU further. This is about my sister Barb who was one of the toughest, outspoken, brilliant, truth-telling, pain-in-the-ass bitches I have ever met, my role model since I was a very young girl. She unfortunately was cast aside by Western medicine and often shrugged off as her illness being “in her head.” SO ~ FUCK YOU Merck Sharp & Dohme Corp for manufacturing a faulty Rubella vaccine and having women either die or wind up in complete paralysis for life as the result of an adverse reaction. My sister was a victim of your faulty vaccine, but unfortunately did not meet the statue of limitations for a law suit from which a nice settlement may have allowed her to live a far more comfortable life away from the climate as a shut in in Hamburg, NY for 25 years. FYI… Merck settled multiple million dollar law suits out of court with gag orders (which to anyone with a brain, admits their obvious guilt.)
RIP Barbara Ann Culig Ruof…
I am writing this in your favorite color, the one you joked about painting Felix when you lived in your beloved San Francisco!!! Without your guidance and love in my life, I would probably be dead or heroine addicted on the streets. I’m very sorry for disappointing you of late. In your honor, I will live my very best life with courage, honesty, integrity, strength and dignity from here on out. When I think I am having a “bad” day, I will say “Fuck it” and invite Mick and the Boys and/or David Lee Roth for dinner. I will not dwell on the petty shit. I will do absolutely everything I thought you wanted me to do or that which you were unable to do in a shitty, shitty, vehicle/body that you absolutely did not deserve. 🙁 One of these days, hopefully soon, we can erect the “Church of the Almighty Girlfriend” in your honor. That promise I hope I can keep to you before I too exit this plane of existence. Know though that it already exists without a physical structure 😉
To those of you readers who have made it this far, don’t grieve for me. Get ANGRY at Western Medicine for fucking my sister over. And send your most heartfelt sympathies to her sons who no doubt are paralyzed with grief. Thank God they had her as long as they did, because she knew they would be solid and and strong enough to get through it. I am eternally grateful I had as many years as I did with my beloved sister, guide, confident, Spiritual teacher, and over-all INCREDIBLE and BRILLIANT human being. Remember, “Religion is for people who fear Hell. Spirituality is for those who have been there.” ~Unknown
THIS BLOG IS PUBLISHED IN HONOR OF A WOMAN WHO WAS NOT AFRAID TO SPEAK HER TRUTH EVER… RIP B… 7.20.54 – 9.28.17
And I welcome myself back to what I currently dub as borderline civil war hell, aka the Divided States of America. Some who have known me many years know that because of my extensive travels on the North American continent, Europe and the Middle East, I have often returned to the US, which is where my passport was issued, thinking how utterly dysfunctional we are as a nation. I make that statement not discounting the great things about this nation I cherish, such as my freedom of speech first and foremost, and my birth as a woman in a relatively “free country” that allows me to travel the world. Yes, there are definitely a few things, alongside the immense beauty of this land, that I value as being a US Citizen. Some call my opinions based on experience and facts about the current state of affairs in the US unpatriotic . Some deem my opinions based on experience and facts a display of my arrogance. Some simply call my opinions based on experience and facts being an “asshole!” Needless to say, after 32 years of excursions outside of this country, I have earned the right to say that the USA is DEFINITELY NOT THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. And I question if it ever indeed was…
After leaving the bubble of peaceful Canada a full week ago on 9/20 and Maine just this past Saturday, 9/23, I knew that my arrival in Hamburg, NY was imminent. Today, I shall travel to “the Town that Friendship Built and Gossip Destroyed.” I don’t bunk down there any longer when in Western NY thanks to a great friend with an uber serene place out in the country who stores my few remaining possessions of value and gives Mona and I refuge and use of her house when needed. The further away from Hamburg the better for me!!! The town is an ever more sprawling suburb south of the city of Buffalo by say 20-90 minutes, depending on the weather. Hamburg is also right smack dab in the middle of the “snow belt.” So when you read in the paper or see on TV that Buffalo got 6 feet of snow, it most likely is in Hamburg. My parents moved us there when I was 2, when Parker Road was still a country road. We had a big back yard an iconic red barn across the street with horses. Traffic was minimal and it was an ideal place to grow up playing outside. When the farmer across the street died, a greedy neighbor down the street bought the property and land and then sold it to a developer who built these audacious “patio homes.” When they tore down the barn across the street to build, I cried. Yes, my 91 year old father still lives in his home on Parker Road. Admittedly, I have mostly had a hate relationship with that area/town. Why? First, because I endured so much intense family dysfunction in my parent’s home growing up with a raging alcoholic. Second, when I was 7 years old, I developed VITILIGO, an autoimmune disorder where the melanocyte cells attack one another and one’s pigment disappears. (In my book, I shall detail what the Spiritual/Metaphysical explanation is to Vitiligo. It basically is a “complete inability to feel like one belongs” according to Louise Hay.
One can only imagine the scars this left on me well into my mid 40’s. Here I will extend big gratitude to some of my childhood friends from St Bernadette’s catholic grade school like Paula Jordan, Amy Marshall, Joanie Pawlowski, Cathy Carlone, Mark Weimer, Larry Rosiek, Joe Ruesch… who were all very sweet about my unsightly disorder as a child. They affectionately dubbed me “Cougar” and Paula told me yesterday that her very sweet, nearing 90 year old mom, Mary Beth, still calls me Cougar to this day! [[ I’m not sure exactly why cougar because leopards had spots, not cougars. Amy Marshall called me Cougar Poopathorn.]] Anyway, thanks to the few who were kind and screw the rest who stared and said “ewww!” I specifically remember one time at the village swimming pool when a kid a bit older than me walked by me, pointed and stared and said to her mother “Ewwww, what is wrong with her skin?” (I’ve always had olive Croatian skin and tan fast and dark leaving my “spots” blaring.) She looked as if by glaring at it, she would catch it. It’s just a small example of the pain due to human’s ignorance I endured in this white bread mentality town over the years. For some reason, as a friend and I recently discussed, there is an air of superiority that exists in this weird fucking town. For some reason, some of the “high society” people in Hamburg had this strange idea that they were better than everyone else. Mostly, it was the parent’s of my friends who had a membership to the local country club. And if your father was a dentist or a doctor, it gave your mother a reason to walk around like “her shit didn’t stink” as my beloved down-to-earth mother used to say.
So, this upcoming time in Western New York will be short lived. I’m not interested in staying in an area any longer that has such bad memories and a faction of GOP ignorance in the population that refuses to see the current destruction this administration is wreaking country and worldwide. Quite honestly, as I have agreed on numerous forums of late, we all are entitled to our opinions. However, when your opinions are based on #fakenews, and current government and media propaganda to promote what the Orange Anus is attempting to execute, should you initiate a discussion, I WILL FEVERISHLY DEBATE YOU WITH FACTS until the day is long. So beware my WNY friends, if we do not share the same thoughts about the current POTUS and how he and his media (Fox and Breitbart) are persistently attempting to destroy and divide America, you just might want to avoid me. Yes, J.P., an uneducated and military arrogant ass I went to High School with (I strongly disliked him there because he thought he was God’s gift and only liked to affiliate with the prettiest girls, although he never could get one) I want to thank you for showing your true self yesterday by rebutting to my request for reason on a friend’s post, by calling me fat, ugly, telling me I looked like Bruce Jenner, (little did he know that Bruce does not exist any longer) attacking my supposed sexuality (which is rumored only and food for that wonderful gossip that destroys relationships) and showing your true ignorance. You made me feel like I was right back in grade school again and getting mocked for my skin disorder and teased relentlessly for being overweight. Except, as a 53 year old, well travelled, well educated, tough bitch who has been through far more shit than was in your fatigue pants when you served, I realize how unbelievably shallow some folks still are. I thank the Great Spirits that BE, that I have grown up to understand that you are most likely and quite sadly suffering enough from your own insecurities to attack someone else as such. I’ll be back! Namasté
A very good 9/23/17 morning to you all from the town of Camden, Maine! This beautiful mid-coast community was my home on and off from 1988-1991. It holds a very special place in my heart as well as I am discovering, an energetic power grid on our continent. I have long wondered why I feel so at peace here, why I connect so deeply to nature, the people, the Maine culture, and most importantly, my higher self. Recollecting back to my 3rd month into this stretch of my sobriety earlier this year, around my birthday in March, I made a commitment to spend my summer in Maine and Nova Scotia, not knowing exactly how that would happen. My thoughts and words were sent out to the Universe with conviction and well, WE made it happen! Yes WE! I had the help of many others I shall mention along the way in my book. On August 3rd, I crossed the border into now my favorite state of the United, Maine. As some of you know, the Maine state motto is “The Way Life Should Be.” And I cannot testify enough to that statement. There exists so many reasons why, but the main one is because the people in this state are, for the most part, highly conscious of their environment and one another. The “dump” in Camden allows people to recycle ALL items, all the way down to one’s fireplace ashes! Yes, consciousness rises and commercialism diminishes as one crosses that state line…
Before heading to Canada, I spent a lovely 3 weeks seeing much of Maine that I had never seen before. I cruised into the small towns and saw old abandoned homes, beautiful countryside, blueberry fields, expansive and clean lake bodies of water. I traveled all the little finger peninsulas “Down East” as the Mainer’s call it. Winter Harbor and Stonington were two of my favs. [Little did I know that my time in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia would blow my Maine experience out of the water. More on that in a coming blog.] In this particular snippet of writing, I would like to thank my mechanic, Iain Pottle of the Beetle Shop in Belfast, Maine for fixing my KaraVan. He helped her make her transition from Moby 😉 by putting in her new transaxel and fixing many other large and small things that needed to be done on my 32 year old small, fast, house. Unlike other mechanics I have seemingly just thrown money at, Iain seems to be first and foremost invested in diagnosing and properly repairing these precious vehicles. Iain’s father, Allen, started the Beetle Shop in 1979 and Iain and Allen continue to provide the VW community with quality repair and are not financial “rakers.” Iain knows how much bloody money I had spent on Moby/Kara since purchasing her in 2015. He also knew that I crossed over the border from Canada the other morning with $2.73 cash and a maxed credit card, having spent my last $550 that was supposed to be budgeted for my travel on mechanics in Nova Scotia who did NOT rectify an ongoing problem. Iain fixed Kara yesterday and she is running like a true charm, rectifying a starting and stalling problem that had persisted since early this year in South Carolina. I also am now aware of what proper miles per gallon are! I paid Iain in cash for one invoice, significantly less than what he billed it for and he called us “square.” He also sent me on my way with another invoice for $153 and said that if the problem was not fixed, that I was not responsible for that payment. And knowing that I had been gifted by great friends basically just enough money to get back to WNY this coming week, he said that I could PayPal him the money for that invoice, only should it fix the problem AND whenever I regroup my finances. Now THAT my friends, is The Way Life Should Be!!! I get SO disheartened of things in this world being SO focused on money. That green stuff is simply an energy, yes a necessary tool for navigating ones way through life, but I do believe in my lifetime that we are going to see the paradigm shift about money as THE way. While in Nova Scotia, I did experience that the barter system is alive and well. And for those of you who are not familiar with the barter system, it is simply an exchange of energy and/or goods… If you do a service for me or provide me with something I need, I give you back a service or some goods. The first time in my life I became familiar with this system was on my first trip to Croatia in 1988. Mind you, I had seen the generosity of my parents with their neighbors and friends doing this over the years in smaller capacities, but in Croatia, there were folks who had cows exchanging milk for eggs from people who had chickens. That very simply, is the barter system…
I’m going to address next what has been a highly sensitive topic of late… “HARD WORK” As some of you are aware from knowing me personally many years, I have often been overtly criticized for the way I live. I have been called irresponsible. I have been called a mooch. I have been called a free loader. I have been called a lazy hippy and most recently, an insult to people who “work hard for a living.” Well, first and foremost, these things no longer bother me because I know how hard I work. Being a “creative” is not an easy way to make one’s way through a very money centered consciousness and I have always tried to remain true to my passion and my heart. My sisters have often been the biggest critics of my life and my parent’s generosity with me, mainly the one that was born directly before me, who became “born again” when I was 15. [[[ She obsessively screamed at me that I was going to hell for everything I did when I was a teenager, and that I was going to hell anyway unless I accepted Jesus Christ as my eternal savior! Mind you, this is someone who used to RAGE. And I am not talking raising her voice, I am talking screaming and having tantrums that often became so violent that all the neighbors could hear. Now that is totally Christian, is it not? UGH! At this stage of the game, I can laugh and shrug it off, but NO ONE can imagine how much damage that did even to a very strong-willed and minded, intelligent, young person. And for those of you reading this who I have engaged in relentless debates with about organized religion, Christianity, Bible, God and Jesus, maybe this gives you an idea why I adamantly oppose these belief of as I call them, “blind faith beliefs.” “Born again” Christians are some of the biggest hypocrites I know walking the planet.]]] Enough of that! Nonetheless… I was born 6 years after my three older sisters who came along one right after the other. Yes, I was the baby, the caboose, the mistake as I used to joke with my mom. AND I was rumored to be my “mother’s favorite” if she had one, which I think she truly did not. I was the only one of us 4 to actually graduate college with a Bachelor’s degree. But of course, because it was JUST art school, it didn’t really count 😉 Anyway, I did have an agreement with my mother that I wanted NOTHING when my parent’s passed, yet if they helped me while they were alive, they could see me reap the rewards of their gifts/loans. My mom knows that as strong minded as I always have been, that I had a very tender heart. It took me about 40 freaking years to grow thicker skin around many issues that once devastated me, which I will discuss in detail in my book. In my newfound sobriety and clarity, raising of my planetary vibration, I see my WORK quite clearly on this planet. My book is in progress, the outline currently being drafted to submit to publishers. And my photographs over 3 plus decades of our amazing planet, focused on bodies of that necessary life element, WATER, are also being submitted to publishers for potential printing. So yes, this “mooch” is actually making a living and hopefully a mark in this lifetime as a photographer and a writer. And yes, maybe I will even have a few extra dollars in the bank for when a friend is in need! In closing this WORK HARD discussion… To those of you who have been continuously supportive of the way I live, THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY BIG OLE HEART! And to my blood family members and other critics, I sure hope someday soon you will see THE LIGHT. Maybe by reading my book, things will be opened up and revealed. I simply am no longer invested in defending myself to anyone about how I live. As some wise person once said to me, “Sue, it’s none of your business what other people think or say about you!”
So, for today, on this lovely rapidly approaching Fall Maine day, on the amazing and beautiful planet earth, galaxy Milky Way, I bid you all a simply wonderful day!!! I will surely be revealing more of my images from my extraordinary, life-altering, recent journey, and snippets from my upcoming book/biography on here. Today, just for today, one day at a time, I am going to ask you to invite in the intense LIGHT energy into your hearts that is beaming our planet today. Please click here > “Christine Day, Pleidian Embassador of Light” < to have an explanation of what is transpiring planetarily energetically mainly TODAY, 9/23/17. For those of you who are not already aware, we are in the midst of an extraordinary energetic transformation. And to embody more LIGHT, we must be able to see clearly, dive into and THROUGH the darkness. As Jim Carrey said in his recent rebuttal to W Magazine about his “existentialist interview”… “The only way to it is to step into the river of tears and the sorrows of your life. The things that everyone is avoiding with everything from drugs to drink to sex and gadgets and whatever else you can distract yourself with, all of it is designed for you to never stop going and moving and, for god sakes, not feel the abyss. Don’t allow yourself to feel the abandonment and pain that you’ve suffered. And I’ve done it; I’m through it. I’m sure there will be things that happen again, but I realized that by letting myself fall into it completely, that it’s not to be feared. Death is not to be feared.” Namasté good people, NAMASTÉ!
In the state of Maine – one of my favorite places on this earth, I AM AWAKE and acknowledging each and every day for what a tremendous gift it is to be alive! It’s hard not to appreciate life to the fullest in a state who’s slogan is “THE WAY LIFE SHOULD BE.” Because it truly is from top to bottom and from West to way up Down East. 🙂
Late last Saturday night, 8/19/17, when traveling South on Rt 1 to the Popham Beach area, I got pulled over by the Bath police. It didn’t surprise me because all day long I felt a tad troubled about various things and my mind was elsewhere.
That entire day, I had been in contemplation of my personal relationships and my lack of grace over the years in letting people go out of my life. This has of late been in my face in a big way. I’ve have lost some good people over the years because of my strong personality, my convictions, and yes, my staunch opinions that have often turned into judgments of others, of their political views, their self and planetary awareness, and of course, religious views. More on that later… While the officer just issued me a warning for missing the stop sign, (I realized immediately that I had missed it and pulled right on over when I saw him) it occurred to me as I was struggling with falling asleep that night that I really did need to STOP! In my experience, there is a reason the Universe puts something so excruciatingly large in one’s face. And, for me, even though I missed the actual sign, I definitely saw the bigger picture that night.
It wasn’t until early Sunday morning however that more was revealed to me. I awoke at 4:45 groggy after maybe 3 solid hours of sleep at best and went to hopefully catch some shots of the sunrise. It is a morning ritual while on the road and is part of the job of being a photographer. (Yes, it is a JOB, folks who question my “Life of Reilly.” At summer solstice, one must rise at 3:30 a.m. in Maine to see the sky start to lighten before the earth turns to reveal the sun on the horizon.) That morning after a few photographs, I returned to the van because the mosquitos were eating me alive. I put lavender essential oil on my bites and then laid back down with Mona and slept until 8:45. That piece of deep rest was much needed. I woke refreshed and decided not to go far, but to go get a nice parking spot at the Popham Beach State Park for the day. Many locals don’t want to pay the fee, but I felt it was well worth the $8 to have a day where we could pop the top, clean and organize for the long haul coming up to Nova Scotia. And clean I did… on many levels.
With the upcoming eclipse, I also decided that it was necessary to cleanse all my rocks, healing stones, crystals, neck pieces and myself as well. After all cleaning was said and done in the van and with my healing tools, I took myself, a few choice stones and crystals and did the ritualistic dunk in 64 degree Atlantic Ocean salt water. Man, it was REALLY cold, but it woke me up even further and I returned to Mona in the van (she doesn’t like the water) to heat up a cup of coffee dripped from earlier and meditate on what my intentions were in regards to letting of what no longer serves my highest good in this POWERFUL astrological time of the recent eclipse. The meanings behind the “darkening” by the eclipse can be multifaceted, but one philosophy Spiritually is that it is a time when the darkness of our soul is revealed clearly in essence to let it go and move further into the LIGHT. That is a sweetened condensed version of many philosophers and astrologers. Here’s a decent piece on the eclipse significance.
Since becoming clean and sober and discovering all sorts of new parts of myself each day, the part that the Universe has made me über aware of recently is my personal relationships and how I am treated and of course, how I treat others, or The Golden Rule… My mom was adamant about that one. Do unto others as you wish to have done to you. Reap what you sow… Karma… etc… So last night the BIG mirror popped up… And instead of going right to sleep that night and shrugging the events of the day off, I made a few mental notes and ruminated on what I really wanted to change about myself and my life. The following is what surfaced.
#1 Start to be more of an example of what I believe by action, not just words. I have been told that I am generally a good conversationalist, easy to talk to/with. When I travel, I meet all kinds of new people and often have long conversations. I do love to find out about people’s lives… where they hail from, what they do, believe about life, and lastly if we get that far, think about these intense changing times we are currently living in. Talk has always been a very large part of my personality and conversations come easily and naturally. My first commitment however, is to DO more, to BE more, to consciously walk my talk each and every day, to be present in a loving way for both my Mona, my friends I encounter, new encounters AND for myself. One of the fortunes I have saved from a Chinese meal says: “Action is the proper fruit of knowledge.” Seems that anyone can talk a good talk. So, I will move forward challenging myself to walk my schtick as well. What is my SCHTICK exactly? As my soul brother Ricci Barnes says, “Peace and Love, Sue. Peace and Love… So, I am definitely going to make a concerted effort in each and every moment to walk it a whole lot better.
#2 Exit Facebook for a while, if not for good. I have many reasons for this decision, but the main one is that I feel Facebook has not made me a better person, especially since the recent election. There is much I have learned being on it and I am SO grateful to have connected and reconnected with so many wonderful folks. Since joining at it’s early launch stages in 2007, I have used Facebook for most of what everyone else does while more recently engaging in “battles” over sensitive topics such as religion and politics. I have lost friends. I’ve unfriended and been unfriended. I’ve blocked and been blocked. I have raised my own blood pressure significantly. A recent post I made was taken personally by a long term friend and hence ignited a conflict that ended at 45 year friendship. ☹️ The biggest reason however for making this decision is to chip away at my ego self. My desire to live in my heart is overpowering right now and I don’t always stay in my heart on Facebook. So, a break of at least 30 continuous days is necessary I feel. If for nothing else, to break a habit that I feel is overall not very healthy. This may sound like a judgment about this form of social media, yet it is merely an observation. I feel overall we have become a VERY self-absorbed society. Also, our attention spans have been reduced to basically 2-3 seconds and I have heard it likened to the amount of time it takes to read a Facebook post or a quick text. What an absurd concept this is to me. I don’t go anywhere any longer where people are not addicted to their devices. I see far less of it up
here in Maine, yet it is still prevalent especially among younger folks. I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty specifics of what peeves me most about social media, but I will say that we have lost the art of going somewhere without our phones or needing to check for texts, emails or Facebook or whatever every 15 minutes… So, what do I hope to achieve from a break? A deeper connection with myself and others I encounter in the 3D realm. I will update my Sue Culig Photography page on Facebook, every now and then, and will be mainly posting on Instagram because it is BIG part of what I am, a visual artist and I would like to encounter more folks who are like-minded and like visually skilled. So, to those reading this blog who are my friends on Facebook, if you want to stay connected to me, either follow my Sue Culig Photography page on Facebook, follow me on *Instagram or send me an *email please so I have your address.
#3 Let go of my judgments and soften the expression of my opinions. As I had written in my last brief blog, my life since my first trip to San Francisco at age 14 has involved many journeys, both internal and on multiple forms of transportation on a few different continents. Therefore, I feel that my experiences with many different cultures and peoples, have given me a breath of experience from which I have drawn my opinions, not hypotheses, but ACTUAL IN THE MOMENT EXPERIENCES. Still, who am I to even suggest to another what is the right or wrong way to do something or what to believe? All I can do is share my experiences and let go. I feel like this is the place to make a formal apology to those I have judged or hurt through my words and actions in the past. I am fairly aware of who and how I have hurt and wish to make an end to it! My ego is going on a long vacation, if only for baby steps day by day. Large changes are not usually made overnight.
If I have managed to hold your attention this long, please know that I do enjoy talking on the phone. I enjoy emails. I enjoy brief texting. I mostly, I enjoy the lost art of letter writing and sending cards. Since I am on the road for possibly months to come, email and texting would be the best way to get a hold of me should you wish to do so. Please know that if you do wish still to know where I am or what is happening, I’ll be blogging here from time to time when I feel moved to do so. My email address is email@example.com and my Instagram is @lifeisajourneynotaguidedtour. No, I won’t be joining Twitter. I don’t think what I have to do or say is all that important to need to Tweet or Facebook any longer. I really want more good old face to face human uninterrupted contact. If you wish to be added to my email list, please send me one and I will put you in my address “book.”
I wish you all an incredible journey, new experiences, new enlightenment after the complete darkness in daylight we have just recently experienced. Please think about going inside to see what you can do to make the world a better place through actions of peace and love. Some suggestions that help the collective consciousness are: recycle, reuse, use natural cleaning products on your home, cars, and person, conserve water, conserve electricity, compost, use ALL FORMS OF ALTERNATIVE ENERGY, and most importantly, do something nice for a complete stranger every now and then. It’s a great feeling. Lets work together to make the planet a place where peace and love will prevail for centuries and hopefully millenniums to come. I am committed to doing my part 🙂 Namasté ~ Sue and Mona