For the last week, I have on and off been experiencing debilitating depression. Yesterday I could do nothing except eat and watch movies – mindless stuff. I have woken up in tears nearly every single morning. I don’t even think I took a single picture yesterday, maybe one of Mona, yes the one below… This doggy has saved my life most days. I believe my mother knew exactly what she was doing when she sent me my Mona. Exactly! Just look at that face? How could someone possibly feel alone with those eyes glaring at you 24/7? My mom always got sad about how I live my life. She did not want me to be “alone.” I used to tell her “Well Momma, we are born alone and we die alone.” She for sure sent me this doggy. With her, I hardly ever feel lonely – except for the last few days… I figured out that I am missing human touch, just a simple hug or even to see a full on smile would suffice for now.
The “reality” of our time…. Masked up, clammed up, get in line, stay six feet apart, don’t pull that mask down past your nose – even if you are having a hard time breathing. Keep that f*cking thing on! And definitely DON’T hug anyone! Let’s not even talk about politics, or black blue purple pink red orange yellow green lives matter. And then there is our burning and flooding planet… Yes, the massive depression of the last few days ;-( Such is life as an empath. As I had mentioned in previous blogs and am writing about extensively in my book, I sufferED from severe, often times suicidal depression on and off for 40 plus years of my life. The amount of work I had to do to get to the root of it and what I have to do to maintain a positive and healthy outlook on life is still A LOT of work.
Today, I am not only alcohol free, but pharmaceutical as well, after many years of being a pin cushion, much as my sister Pam was. One of the reasons I have consciously chosen to live like I do is because I do feel free and unencumbered by the immense expense of home ownership or loans or insurances… etc etc etc. All of that caused a very serious amount of anxiety for me – crippling most times. Now, NO ONE OWNS MY LIFE BUT ME. And I ALWAYS have “enough.” It might not be enough in regards to some folks’ standards, but for myself it is most times WAY MORE than I need. Most importantly, I have my sanity. No one owns me on a time clock I need to punch to get a paycheck. Nope, I am free – yes free to keep documenting my intense love of our planet – of nature – of the creatures of this beautiful place in the Universe we call home. Yes, I do live a GREAT story each and every day I live outdoors. And I never take a breath of fresh air for granted.
I can’t remember exactly when I fell so deeply in love with the planet, with our mother, with the ultimate sustainee of ALL life forms. Maybe it was the Native American “church” peyote ceremony I was honored to be invited to in Oregon in the mid 90’s that really began my quest to help save our mother and all her creatures. That experience allowed me the insight I needed to set out on a quest, hell or high water to see and document as much of our beloved and unique planet as possible. And now 25 years later, my extensive website showcases just how much I have been able to see and record. It still leaves me speechless how many people do not stop to think on a daily basis where their food comes from let alone how the QUALITY of the air they breathe and the water they drink effects their very health. No matter where you are in the world, if you have not thought about it by now, maybe the quality of your current air, all the way to NY and Hawaii from our beloved California/West coast wild fires will MAKE YOU THINK. MAYBE??? What is it going to take folks? Exactly what is it going to take for all of us to WAKE THE F*CK UP??? THERE IS NO PLANET B!!!
Who remembers this guy on the left? If you are reading this and do not recognize his face, his tear, he is “Iron Eyes Cody” the poster child for ending pollution in the 70’s. View the campaign featuring him that set off a nation-wide awareness about how throwing even that one cigarette butt out your window effects our ecosystems. So, wherever you are in the world, in this country, it is really time to THINK – to raise our consciousness to one of LOVE – love of humanity at large matter not their beliefs, skin color, etc. We are one. Think about and take a moment to play Bob Marley if you need to remember. love of our planet, and love of it for the grandchildren who loaned it to us to take care of. ONE LOVE – Namasté